i guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower's Journal [entries|friends|calendar] i guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

HI AGAIN [26 Mar 2009|01:17pm] it's been a while, but i am back. right now i am a little bit sick, but last night when i got out of work dan gave me a much needed backrub (sweeping and mopping and being sick makes my shoulderblades really sore) and made me some tea and soup with garlic bread. very sweet, but i felt pathetic because i couldn't even make my own food. it's just funny to think about, like regressing back to being a baby or something. anyway, so since december 29th: - my birthday (do i remember what happened? fuck no. well now i do. i spent the night at dan's, he got me a polaroid camera, then hung out with my family for my mom's birthday too and it was kind of stressful) - valentine's day i got a buttload of candy (again) - i got a job!!! in march. so that was, what, five months of unemployment? anyway it's like panera, so back to square one? - i am not going back to six flags this summer because of my new job - my sister's birthday is tomorrow - i still have to officially change my major/minor but i have yet to meet with an advisor from the criminology department! i want to do a double major so badly but i need to know if i CAN first. - i'm on spring break right now but i've been working every day and now i'm sick. - the reason why i stopped updating? i had an stalker ex-friend who would read my public entries - she asked me to go get coffee with her and after about a year of not talking, i finally responded and said "sure" and she hasn't replied since. my guess is she just wanted to "win" or some stupid shit. i also had another ex-friend who pretended to still be my friend because she never actually wanted to bother to tell me that she didn't consider me a friend anymore until *i* confronted her. why? i have no fucking idea. maybe because she still has the maturity of a five year old. - fuck this, it'll be my last public entry. now i have to go get a gift and maybe go to fucking work!! 6CMNT

kind of a goodbye [29 Dec 2008|03:02pm] i don't know if i want to keep posting here. i never want to anymore. i'll still be around for communities and such, so keep me on your friendslist if you want because i will keep reading. i just won't be posting. i'll mostly be over at insanejournal, so if you have an account there and you want to add me, please let me know. christmas was fun; i hope it was great for all of you, too. and i hope you all have an amazing new year! 5CMNT

a late happy thanksgiving [30 Nov 2008|03:13pm] i had a pretty good thanksgiving, i hope all of you did as well. i actually spent the majority of it playing dominoes with my family? i guess it's a very popular game in albania because both my parents are pretty good at it and they kept beating us. my dad was all like "hardy har, put that piece down viola because i know all the pieces you have and i've made it so you have no choice but to put that one down" and i'm all like "WITCH BURN THE WITCH" but anyway. it was a pretty good holiday. dan got the tickets to ohio - i'm leaving on the 30th of december and getting back on the 4th of january. i hope it will be a lot of fun. if anything, i'll get to see what ohio is like. i feel a little weird because new years is even bigger than christmas for my family, but whatever. sometimes people have other things to do. i am excited. i love trips! and planes. so i sat down to make a christmas wishlist because normally i'm like "i don't know what i want, just get me something i would like" but i myself am a perfectionist and i freak out when i don't know what to get someone because the gift has to be PERFECT for everyone. so anyway i hate when people say that to me, so i decided to actually make a wishlist. little did i know that i would get carried away with things that i want. oh well, here it is. (this is mostly just so i can keep track and also to give you lovely people ideas if you see something you like and want for yourself. :) ( i wish i wish i was a fish ) 3CMNT

i can ride a bike with no handlebars [16 Nov 2008|09:42pm] well, everyone i know has got a reason to say "put the past away" (i know i will) 1CMNT

this is my go obama post [04 Nov 2008|11:22pm] i like how the election didn't seem to be close at all; all of a sudden it's just like "o hay obama is president and he has a FUCKTON of electoral votes." fucking awesome. aside from that, my life is okay. i have to drop/withdraw from some stupid class because i had no idea they were meeting. tomorrow i have to get a form signed by three different people, and i hope i can withdraw. i also meet with my advisor tomorrow to discuss my schedule for next semester! today, aside from doing a lot of random-ass errands, i went to the doctor because my back has been killing me for too long now. it turns out i do have mild scoliosis, but it's probably caused by the fact that my neck is at an unnatural angle; like that of a whiplash victim. instead of bending like a slight c, it's straight at an angle. so it's been pulling all my back muscles and basically hurting the fuck out of me and now i have to go to physical therapy for a month or so and i fucking hope it will make my back better. i was also supposed to discuss my blood results, but i forgot to mention it and so did my doctor. i hope she calls me about them, but i'll probably end up calling her instead because i want to know how my iron/b12 levels are and i want to know if that's the reason why i am constantly sleepy!! and i need a new fucking job! one that will last longer than three months, plz. that is how my life is going. it needs to settle down. i cannot wait for the holidays, seriously. i want a break. i'll probably end up going to ohio for new years with dan. :) 2CMNT

my heartbeat is a slow one, but i'm terrified of you [21 Oct 2008|05:59pm] that was taken when dan and i went apple-picking, which was a lot of fun. it was a nice day out, and the apples were so amazingly incredible. we got 26 apples and used two to make apple and cheese puffs as well as apple spice cupcakes. the rest i've just been eating as a snack. my parents came back from cancun (did i ever mention they left?) and they really had a nice time there. they said it was like paradise and i should definitely go sometime if i can. they also got me an expensive silver necklace with "ola" (short for viola) inscribed on it in mayan letters, which i like. it's supposed to bring good fate or something. dan's birthday is coming up in about a week and i am trying to plan for it. he's also moving out shortly after his birthday, so that'll be good. i don't think i'll be working at six flags during the halloween weekend, so i'll have a lot of free time that weekend and that makes me happy! mainly because i am always tired. oh, i also made a halloween mix, but i don't want to post it here. i actually want to start up my mix community which i'm sure i made over a year ago but never got started on it ... yeah. i should get on that. 1CMNT

this is just an angry post [04 Oct 2008|12:31am] so today at six flags i only worked for five hours but i made NO MONEY because i didn't draw anyone because there was barely anyone at the park. oh, and it was fucking FREEZING idk how i am going to be able to do this for the rest of october until 10 at night. i was wearing a sweater under my blinding six flags shirt, too, and i was still a popsicle. fuck you six flags. fright fest?? more like FREEZE TO DEATH fest. also, i virtually have no free time. between classes, six flags, spookytown, and seeing dan (that is what i do with my "free time", actually) it's just like .. i'm out all day and then i want to sleep but i never get enough sleep and i never do anything else. i guess if i really had to do something, i'd make time for it though. anyway tomorrow my sisters are coming over so even though i'm not working tomorrow, i still have no free time! awesome. bah hum bug. 2CMNT

everybody knows you're a liar, why don't i? [27 Sep 2008|01:11am] i have nothing of interest to say, but i felt like it was time for an update. i'm always out even though i don't really end up doing much. i need to fill out some survey, submit some things, read/study, finish taking inventory of all the books in my house so i can possibly sell them and make monies, go to an art club meeting, etc. i recently got a job at this halloween store -- mainly because they were the only people that hired me, but also because i can get a halloween costume for 25% off. one of my co-workers is trying to plan a trip to salem for halloween and dan and i thought about going to northampton as well. anyway, it hasn't opened yet and my schedule is a little limited because of six flags and classes. so far i've just been moving boxes and setting everything up, which is tiring and repetitive. weird thing is, a lot of albanian kids are working there and today i met the guy who caused me to break my arm when i was eight. funny coincidence. anyway, the job only runs through november 10th and then i'll have to look for a new job all over again. great. on the bright side, six flags is closed tomorrow because of rain, i guess, so i actually have a day with no classes and no work! fucking sweet. ummm i like pirate facebook. note to self: make more grilled cheese sandwiches to enjoy with salt and vinegar chips. 4CMNT

i got a haircut and i like it [28 Aug 2008|11:05pm] ( three pictures ) i also got my schedule for school, but i can't say that i'm really excited about it. i want to move out. i need a weekday job because six flags will soon be weekends only. 5CMNT

maybe tomorrow i'll find my way home [06 Aug 2008|10:34pm] i miss everyone. all i've been doing lately is working. i've gotten a lot more confident in my drawing and airbrushing. i should really start taking pictures of my caricatures - there was one i was really proud of, but i'm too absent-minded. plus my camera is a huge chunk of solidness, so i don't want to carry it around. i like all my co-workers and i like doing crossword puzzles when it's not busy. or all the time. but, i have the next four days off and i'm going to boston this saturday to see margot & the nuclear so and so's with dan. i plan on visiting my favorite restaurant while i'm there, too. the decision has been made: i am going to school locally. i'm not going back to vermont. i'm not sure whether or not i'll transfer again after this, but we'll see where i'll be next year. i hope to move in with dan sometime this year or maybe next year, but i have to accrue money first. this summer wiped me out because i couldn't find a job for the first two months, it was ridiculous. living with my parents for a little bit and having them pay for food and gas is going to be pretty sweet, because i'm not really going to need much else. i haven't even bought anything since mid-july aside from getting food with dan and paying for it with tips. and the concert tickets, i guess. i've even made a whole complicated chart taking up two pieces of paper planning out the different amounts of money i would make/pay based on a number of different scenarios. i need to find another job. i need to know what my schedule is. i need to do so many things, but i'm working through it. i don't know if i've left anything out, but i doubt it really matters. 1CMNT

don't get lost in the crowd [13 Jul 2008|11:41am] i am now working at six flags new england. come visit me and get a caricature! i also might end up staying around here next semester. that's it for all my exciting news. last night i had a dream you spoke to me again. grudgingly perhaps, but i don't know why. 4CMNT

who can it be now [30 Jun 2008|11:11pm] i just got back from an impromptu trip to boston. the trip was nice, but today before i got home i got incredibly sick. well, not really, but i puked in a garbage can on boston commons, so now i can add that to my list of CRAZY THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED TO ME ON BOSTON COMMONS including being pooped on by a bird. on the bright side i got to observe pigeons mating and squirrels eating food we threw at them. anyway after that i felt better so i was able to take a bus home. the rest of my days (since i last updated) haven't been incredibly eventful. i've been mostly hanging out with dan because everyone else seems to be too busy this summer. but i guess that's understandable, seeing as having a job should come first in times when getting a job is freaking difficult! dan got a job though and he just started today, so that's really cool and i am proud of him. he only need to work in the office for about two months, but we'll see what happens. i've been contemplating going to uhart for art, but i'm not really sure if i'm going to or whatnot. last saturday (maybe?) i went to derby, ct to assist a henna artist at some fair. it was a nice experience, i guess, and the lady was really nice, but i only got $20 out of it. i might do it again if it's closer. also! alex from six flags contacted me again to see if i was still free because he wanted to offer me a position as a caricaturist. i think i will go up there this saturday for training and such. i also got a call from forever 21 asking if i can come for an interview tomorrow, so i hope that works out as well! maybe i'll have two jobs, but if i had to choose, i'm not really sure what i'd go with, even if i really want to do the six flags thing. we will see. CMNT

half the horizon's gone to a skyline of numbers [26 May 2008|01:16am] i spent nine hours on a movie set last night, from 7PM to 4AM. we didn't start filming until 9PM and i don't think the director was done. he asked us to bring two outfits and we only made use of one, so i'm not sure. anyway, i had a great time. i met a lot of wonderful and fun people (two of them were in the indiana jones movie, so now i have to watch it and see if i can spot them!). most of the time that we were sitting around we just talked about a whole bunch of things. our only role was to be a crowd watching a fight and cheering -- after a while it hurt my throat. but it was overall enjoyable and at one point i had a bodyguard following me around and getting me things and my feet hurt (guess who got me bandaids?). my mom stayed up to wait for me even though i told her she was being ridiculous and basically i want to do it again at some point! when i get the movie i am going to watch it and laugh at myself. i also went to a six flags interview the day before for the caricaturist job, and while it went very well (as most interviews of mine don't), there are no open spots at this point so i either have to wait for someone to drop out of a spot or until next summer. we shall see. right now i don't have a job and i am trying to not spend a lot of money but it's not the easiest thing to do. i just hope i get one soon because i don't want to be jobless all summer. and i have applied to so many places it's ridiculous. over twenty places, at the very least. i'm not really sure what's up. i can't believe it's 1:30. i'm kind of busy but kind of not. i need this summer to be very, very productive. oh and i am going to uvm again next year. these are the main highlights of my summer thus far, i suppose. 1CMNT

doesn't seem to be a shadow in the city [12 May 2008|05:10pm] home sweet home! i am home. and slightly sick. but i am feeling better by the minute. my life is still very much all up in the air. it needs to stop being lame. that is all. 1CMNT

we were swallowing panic in the face of its force [22 Apr 2008|07:45pm] i got rejected from wellesley and now i'm contemplating looking up more colleges. i feel frenzied. i still have to email bennington and ask them about financial aid and whether or not they're going to count my credits this semester because i cannot be a second semester freshman when i'm supposed to be a sophomore. i think i would go to bennington if they gave me enough money. but i don't know what i would do if i end up at uvm again. it might be better next year, but i don't feel like i belong here. what can i do? i feel like i can do so much better, but the better schools won't accept me. do i keep trying or do i settle? maybe it's too early to think about it. i am going to boston on the 30th until the 4th to spend time with my sisters between classes and finals. i need a job. i need direction. 2CMNT

i smoke my friends down to the filter [17 Apr 2008|09:58pm] i got into bennington! fuck yeah. i was supposed to hear from hampshire on the 15th, but i haven't heard from them at all. i should know about wellesley on the 22nd. i didn't think i would be so relieved to hear from someplace, even if it doesn't work out. i don't remember feeling this excited the first time around. maybe since it's even more difficult as a transfer student and some school wants me. i have no idea what i'll do when i hear from wellesley, i'm going to flip out or something. anyway i've been busier than usual lately. the weather has gotten nicer and it's in that nice medium where you're not a puddle of sweat, but you can go outside in a t-shirt without getting goosebumps. classes, going out with friends sometimes, playing frisbee, working on papers and projects that are due soon because classes are almost over!! fuck yeah. i am beyond excited. i'm looking for jobs at the moment and today i just inquired on a job as a caricaturist for six flags. how weird! it's a far stretch, but i need to reach out there for jobs i would actually (somewhat) enjoy rather than another panera. at least a bookstore of some sort. ugh i really need to buckle down these next few weeks! i need to do my projects and sell my books and enjoy the nice days before it gets too hot to be outside for longer than a second!!! weeeeeeeee. that's all. 4CMNT

spring is in the air [08 Apr 2008|02:54pm] it's finally spring in vermont. it's in the 40s and 50s and people are already wearing tshirts and sandals and all that jazz and the wind is crazy. i like that the wind wreaks havoc on my hair and my shadow looks like an enraged goddess but in reality i look like an escaped mental patient. i want to enjoy the nice weather though because pretty soon it's going to start raining again for a while. yesterday i did a lot of walking just because it was so nice out. a friend of mine has a bike pump and so i might be able to ride my bike these last few days, assuming it's not stolen or won't be stolen. i just got my new mp3 player in the mail after two weeks or more. i found out that they have peanut butter smoothies at the marche so that's where all my points will be going. life is good. there are obviously things in the way like classes and tests and projects, but it'll all be over in about three weeks so i don't really care. i just want to be outside! 2CMNT

no one back in traffic school had told us there are signs that can't be learned [02 Apr 2008|10:10pm] well we all know that i shouldn't be allowed into bookstores, especially if there are cheap books available! i was only in borders for a few minutes because i was waiting for the bus, so i didn't have hours to waste. but! i did find two crime books in the bargain section. manhunt: the definitive history of serial murder investigation and crimes of passion: the thin line between love and hate. both seem promising! at this point i'm pretty sure i have over 20 books on crime or serial killers. it's insane. but i really want to start reading fiction again, especially a few classics (because let's face it, some of them really are boring). i've been reading mostly nonfiction lately, so i need a change of pace. book recommendations would be lovely. i'm really excited about classes almost being over. i'm counting down the days and i have around two weeks left of mwf classes and one week of t/th. amazing. plus there's about five days between my last class and my first final! what's that about? dan's probably going to come visit in those five days and we can watch fraggle rock, possibly. and now the reason i posted! i just found out yesterday that registration for classes is apparently next friday. i wasn't expecting this until august, so i'm just unprepared. i thought i'd at least have decided on a major the next time i had to pick classes, but i'm stuck in limbo. and even though i might transfer, i think it would be best if i had all my bases covered if i stay here. anyway, i looked through the course list and came up with a whole bunch of classes, so help me. just pick the five that sound most interesting to you! ( potential courses ) 5CMNT

che fretta c'era, maledetta primavera [30 Mar 2008|02:59pm] i can't remember doing anything worth talking about these past two weeks. just school and work. i've tried to be a bit more outgoing, we'll see how that works out. my sisters came up this weekend because it was irena's birthday. we stayed at the bel-aire motel -- that's my fourth? time this year. i got there a few hours early and got to play with the kitten they own. i found out her name is canon and she is very cute. anyway they got there around midnight and i had ordered pizza so i went out to get it. going back to the room, i tripped over this small step i didn't see and fell on a cement stair, scraping both my knees. i think i hurt my arm a little and i have a few scrapes on my fingers. the pizza wasn't ruined, though! in any case, one knee doesn't hurt too much because it just had a few scrapes and is already sort of healed but the other one is killing me! irena said it didn't seem to heal fast enough or properly so she thought i might have low iron, which wasn't too much of a surprise since i have had low iron count before. so anyway, i bought a multivitamin. it just hurts to walk and to bend it and put pressure on it and that sucks! i want my knee back. but otherwise this weekend was lovely. 1CMNT

lift you up over everything to light up my room [12 Mar 2008|12:24am] both wellesley and amherst have rolling hills. that makes them superior. hampshire kind of blows, or at least the campus does. i have not yet visited bennington, but i'm not sure if i will! i wonder if people smoke a lot there, too. it would make the school a lot less appealing to me. if i get rejected from all of these places or cannot go there for any reason, there is a bright side! i got accepted into uvm's s.a.f.e housing program in redstone hall, which is a house of maybe thirty kids who don't smoke/drink and are big fat dorks like me. i went there for an interview before spring break and i fell in love. i mean, the people were awesome and ridiculously friendly but also it's like a house!! it has a kitchen and a living room and just awesomeness. they have a bike porch and a scary staircase and i'm really excited. after my interview they invited me to stick around and play donkey kong and eat cake. when i get back, they're having a room selection party with ice cream. needless to say, if i get stuck at uvm, next year will be a whole lot better. anyway! i recently bought a cute dress in white and a jacket in grey. i also bought this nifty sunflower necklace. and! tomorrow i am going to the meriden (?) mall with brudie and shafali so perhaps i will buy more crap. i still need a new phone and possibly a haircut and it's halfway through the week! fuck spring break and its short length. i cannot wait until the summer. 4CMNT

je ne t'aime plus mon amour [01 Mar 2008|08:47pm] so i've been watching a ridiculous amount of friends lately, mostly because i don't have friends of my own. but the point is, not only am i now able to recall what happened in which season (for the most part -- it's scary), but i also realized that i relate to phoebe the most. that may have a little to do with the fact that she's apparently also an aquarius, but i think the pivotal quote which made me realize it was this (as accurately as i can remember): "a stripper? that is so cliche. ooh, why don't you hire a MAGICIAN?" is that me or is that me?! i'll give you a hint: it's me. sure, chandler is funny, but phoebe is ME. so, instead of being productive or social, this is what i have been doing with my time. oh, and i also ate a lot of mac and cheese with salt and vinegar chips. A+ day in my life. my point is, i want to not have any work to procrastinate from and i want spring break to get here NOW. only four more days of classes (we have tuesday off ;D). here are my plans: - see dan, duh. - visit amherst/hampshire, possibly wellesley. - go to boston for a day? if my sisters don't come home. - see people accordingly (aka whoever wants to hang out with me). - get a haircut. - never leave. 1CMNT

take it back to old times when i was still a girl [22 Feb 2008|06:48pm] i want a haircut. there's this girl in my art history class who has the exact haircut i want, so on tuesday i'm going to attempt to non-creepily take a picture of her. i don't actually know if that's necessary. it's like a bob, but with the hair longer in the front than in the back. and usually that haircut looks sort of edgy, but this one actually looks classy. we'll see. either way, my hair is going bye-bye. i finished almost all my candy, and the few things i have left over i'll just give to random people. i'm only a teensy bit stressed right now. tomorrow i'm supposed to have an interview with a hampshire alumnus, i'm anxiously waiting for my parents to send me the 2007 tax returns in the mail so i can send them out before march 1, i need to finish writing my bennington essays, bleh. on the bright side, i only have two more weeks until spring break. eventually, i will update about something worthwhile, but really i just wanted to share this video because it makes me lol: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xza2N_RPhQ 7CMNT

bird's eye view [13 Feb 2008|05:05pm] 350 lb viola, here i come. kudos to you if you can read the note. 8CMNT

a field full of tires that is always on fire to light my way home [10 Feb 2008|12:10am] i thought of this back while dan was still here and we were talking, and i thought of posting it somewhere. mostly it's about double standards, i guess. i always found it so refreshing to see how laid back him and his friends seemed to be. the whole "chicks before dicks" saying came to my mind, and how it's SO important to put girls before guys no matter what, ever. it's admirable, yes, but i feel like that would only applies if the guy is a major jerk or if the girl is somehow neglecting her friends. guys have a similar quote: "bros before hos" but for some reason that has a different meaning for me. guys are very lax about girlfriends and they seem to have an understanding that whenever it comes between choosing your girlfriend and your best friend, always go with the girlfriend (assuming she's not crazy or a bitch, you know). you see it a lot in shows as well as real life, and the term "bros before hos" only applies when the girl is .. a ho, pretty much. guys don't seem to be offended by the fact that the girlfriend comes first -- it seems almost like an unspoken rule. there are probably different reasons for this. with girls, i feel like it's blind loyalty all the time. i saw a wedding show once where the woman was engaged to some guy but she kept being like "my mom is always number one to me and will always come before him and if he can't respect that then he needs to go!" which is very nice on her part since mothers are important. but if you're planning on building a LIFE with someone, you need to put them first. your mother isn't going to be your husband. you need to grow up. but i digress. my point is, i don't get why this difference exists. it seems unfair. are guys getting the short end of the stick, or girls? personally, i think it's girls. i think for the most part it's just leftover insecurity from being oppressed by society in the past. it has to be something. this is another argument that has been made a lot: masturbation. it's always assumed that men masturbate and it's SO WEIRD if someone doesn't. therefore, there's no stigma or embarrassment that comes from that for guys. they can talk about it more freely than girls can. and in all honesty? i don't think i've known any girls who masturbate. it's easier to come across them on the internet and i feel like in college people are more open about it, i guess, but i personally have never met anyone who has or claimed to have. and it's like, for guys they can talk about it without it being taboo. everything sexual seems to be taboo for women. it's so unfair. i refuse to be part of it. it's not quite on the same level as economic equality or whatever, but it's still part of general equality and you can't ignore it. and i'm so upset because i had another example but i don't remember it. 8CMNT

happy anniversary :) [07 Feb 2008|11:54pm] ( more pictures ) i am stressed out about transferring, but i'm going to enjoy tomorrow (technically today) because it is a happy day. woo. 5CMNT

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ] [ go | earlier ]